Even though I hate being vulnerable and admitting to my weaknesses, I’m totally getting an F in life right now. I have no shows I’m binge-watching on Netflix, I’m dehydrated 200% of the time, and my skin is definitely lacking in brightness. Despite all of this, I have found that I am feeling more Pisces than ever and I just bought new bras, which amps life up to an entirely different plane of existence. Also, I’m getting like, 15,000 steps a day according to my Fitbit, so maybe I’m getting more of a C- in life. In any event, things are looking up, it’s almost summer, and majority of people still find me incredibly annoying, so not much as changed.
This weekend, me and Cara went over to Purdue to visit our gal pals and see John Mulaney (my favorite comedian) do his new stand-up show in Indianapolis. Here, me and Abby looking fierce while posing against a wall. I’m still debating whether or not I look skinny in this picture, so I’ll let ya’ll be the judge.
“I know the eyes are the windows to the soul or whatever, but the real crux of the moment was not just that I was really seeing someone, but that I was seeing someone really seeing me. Once I embraced the terror of this realization and gave it time to subside, I arrived somewhere unexpected.”
Last month, I went to Florida for a week of sun, shopping, and SHRIMP with one of my top home girls, Kate, her mom, and her grandma. I reached peak sunburn levels and ate some truly incredible ice cream, and I now feel the Florida sunset in my heart always.
Mad Men is absolutely my favorite TV show of all time! I feel an extremely real, soulful and spiritual connection to pretty much every character — Peggy is my professional aspirations, Megan is my beauty goals, Betty is my bitch icon and Sally is my teenage dream. Also, I am definitely as insane as Michael Ginsberg, if not more?
Current anthem: “Sucker” by Charli XCX
Rihanna at Coachella is what I want to be when I grow up
Broad City is so perfect! I really could wax poetic about this show for hours at a time. Though it’s similar to Girls, I find that the comedy and earnestness of BC allows it to be more relatable. Likewise, its portrayal of female body positivity isn’t so self-serving and blatant — it just is what it is, and what it is is awesome.
Things I feel [100 emoji] about:
– Being Pisces: This is a totally new feeling for me because, for majority of my life, I’ve been very disconnected from the Pisces agenda — and a Buzzfeed quiz once told me I was a Gemini, so that didn’t help the situation. But I’ve found that being a Pisces relies pretty heavily on being deeply emotional but simultaneously emotionless, which pretty much hits the nail on the head when it comes to me. Though I’m definitely not a “go with the flow” water sign type, I’m seeing more of myself in these Tumblr astrology posts when it comes to Pisces, and that’s progress.
– My tan Old Navy booties: These shoes had to have been created by God and then FedEx next-day shipped to Old Navy because they are truly the workings of a higher power. I wear them pretty much every day and am continually impressed by their durability, cuteness, and ability to make my legs look long. The only downside is that they’re a size too big, but that’s my fault, not yours, Old Navy booties. I love you SO much.
– Sharing things on Facebook: I wish more people shared things on their Facebook profiles. In the past month alone, I’ve shared everything from a funny clip from Late Night to the new True Detective promo. Just mere minutes ago, I shared a cute picture of Dave and James Franco. I love enriching others with articles that I find interesting or short videos that are funny. Social media is the Millennials window to the soul, and I want everyone to share their soul with me.
– Dunkin Donuts: There are no words for my obsession with this coffee. I normally go for a medium French Vanilla coffee, black, with two Splendas, but sometimes I go for iced coffee if I’m feeling like a true bitch. Me and Cara sometimes go after work and drink coffee at 10 PM and do homework, and it is truly a delightful space of time to share in a friendship.
– Scott motherfucking Eastwood: I just saw The Longest Ride this afternoon and while it was easily one of the stupidest plots I’ve ever sat through (THAT ENDING!), I feel free admitting I legitimately had tears come to my eyes when I saw this man’s face. I think he transcends all former notions I had of what boys are supposed to look like. I think he is a new species of human. I think we, as the human race, don’t deserve him.
Here I am, the emoji bitch!
I hate Jason Derulo so so much, but this song is magic wrapped in fire sprinkled with diamond dust.
I am deeply troubled by the loss of Zayn Malik from One Direction. However, I guess I can understand why someone would want to escape the drudgery of incredible wealth, millions of hot girls, and the aesthetic beauty of a Greek god. Everyone has their lifestyle preferences. I wish you luck in your new life, Zayn, and, as a boy once told me via Snapchat, “At least Harry is still there.”
“In my head I describe the feeling as a wave, the scouring emptiness, like a shell that has been washed entirely clean of its old mucous self and exists only as an outline of its contents. Eventually even that feeling recedes into a sea of other feelings. Eventually I feel nothing except for myself burning and burning away.”
I found this quote on Tumblr, and I feel so strongly about it: “Accept the fact that you will grow apart from people you’ve had significant relationships with. Understand when someone no longer positively affects your life. Let them go. Don’t hinder your growth.”
Me in a nutshell.