The idea of fall is so good. Like, SO GOOD, guys! But right now I’m wearing a flannel shirt and sweating and also thinking about pizza so, really, is it even fall at all?
I’m weirdly beginning to feel feelings that I’ve never felt before (maybe I’m just emoting for the first time ever?) and I’m wondering if I’m finally reaching some sort of “adult” status. For example, I was home in Illinois this weekend, and it was great, but there was definitely something weird going on. I felt like I was in someone else’s house, trying to live someone else’s life. I’m pretty sure this is what Wife Swap feels like. The first night I was home, my friends came over and we all talked about our brand new lives, and after they left, I felt like crying. WE’RE JUST ALL LIVING BRAND NEW LIVES, OKAY? IT’S SO CONFUSING.
I’m definitely falling into the situation where “home” is a completely new concept. Is New York City my home, or is Glen Ellyn? I don’t know how to do this, but I’m glad that I get to figure it all out in the best place on Earth. Walking through the city is the most sacred thing to me. Especially when it’s raining and I’m listening to Taylor Swift and thinking about all my life’s mistakes.
Anyways, maybe once it stops being sweaty in the subway, I’ll be able to experience the autumnal vibes. Until then:
My favorite New York experience so far is 100% the New York Film Festival. The atmosphere is like nothing you’ve ever experienced, industry greats are literally EVERYWHERE, and you get the opportunity to see some amazing films. It really is the reason Lincoln Center is my favorite place in the city. I was lucky enough to snag a last-minute ticket to the world premiere of Gone Girl (absolutely life-changing) and a ticket (with a surprise Q+A!!!) to Whiplash, both during opening weekend. Whiplash is my favorite movie I’ve seen this year, and definitely landed itself a spot in my top 10 of all-time. There are no words. It’s that good. Other good moments from NYFF: Accidentally walking past the red carpet for Gone Girl and seeing Ben Affleck, Rosamund Pike, and Neil Patrick Harris ~in the flesh~, getting a high-five from Miles Teller and yelling in his face, Miles Teller sitting five rows in front of us during Whiplash, and MEETING ETHAN HAWKE!! We were walking behind him, close enough to touch, for ~3 minutes before my friend Maya just had to shake his hand. Cool move by her because he then shook both of our hands, asked us our names, listened to us rave about Boyhood and then told us to have a great night. He is truly a cool dude. He was wearing a baseball hat with a corduroy blazer.
“It is in this release — not in the trite, robotic messages — that Facebook pages of the dead seem like a gift that people like me didn’t have: somewhere to feel less ashamed about not being able to move the fuck on. A preponderance of evidence that the person you loved was once alive and meant something to other people, not just you.”
Another amazing NYC experience was meeting Lena Dunham. While the actual meeting situation was less than ideal (as signing-type M+Gs always are), it was so inspiring to here her speak her words directly in front of me. She’s one of my greatest creative role models, so the opportunity was really unique and wonderful.
When you’re rich+drunk enough to have people put your hat on for you #justgirlythings
Life is long, people change, I would never be foolish enough to think otherwise. But no matter what, nothing can ever be as it was. Everything has changed in a way that sounds trite and borderline offensive when recounted over coffee. I can never be who I was. I can simply watch her with sympathy, understanding, and some measure of awe. There she goes, backpack on, headed for the subway or the airport. She did her best with her eyeliner. She learned a new word she wants to try out on you. She is ambling along. She is looking for it. – Lena Dunham