Year in Review: 2014

I made it another year on this toxic earth!!! Years are so long and I’m so tired of life on a constant basis, but I had so much fun and was happy like a kitten in the sun for most of 2014. Yes, I cry a lot and yes, I’m literally a high-functioning goth, but I’ve been listening to an almost inappropriate amount of Taylor Swift and that kind of balances me out.

Here’s to another year of singing “Blank Space” dramatically when alone in the car, eating deep dish pizza, not changing the months on my calendar ever, and trying to get my friends to hold hands with me in public because I like being held.

My 2014 Year in Review:

The most important thing that happened to me this year, obviously, was leaving for college and starting a brand-new life in New York City. On the grand scale of the world, I see myself as a very small rat, so being in the city is weird.

Other important life changes: Dyed my hair upwards of 10 times, painted my nails the same color for four straight months, wore jeans a lot more than I wanted to, got a variety of intense and unexplained bruises, had to take two showers a day to stay warm, and picked up a new eye twitch in my lower right lid. One thing that remained the same: I am always pale.

I saw so many life-affirming and life-changing pieces of entertainment in 2014:

Boyhood easily became one of my favorite movies of all time. For being such a huge, sprawling film, it still manages to feel very quaint and intimate and personal. I want to wrap myself up in this movie like a warm blanket and just sit there and never ever have to move ever again. That’s how Boyhood makes you feel.

I really like to pimp out my love of Guardians of the Galaxy all over the internet, and in real life, too, because it’s the best Marvel movie of all time! Okay, maybe that’s a big statement, but F what you heard about The Avengers — this squad is prime. Set to a galactic backdrop, it’s the most colorful comic book film in recent memory, with bursts of vibrant purples and greens, and can we talk about the soundtrack? Also, I cried like a little bb when Chris Pratt opened the gift from his dead mom and his sweet eyes filled with tears as “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” played.

Have we discussed how I am Amazing Amy? I am such a crazy bitch! I want to Gone Girl myself! Amy Dunne gets such a bad rep for being an insane murderer, but I kind of think she’s fierce as hell (disclaimer: not promoting murderers here, just appreciate a powerful woman). Gone Girl wasn’t just a highlight of my year — it changed my life.

This is also one of my most favorite scenes ever in a movie (but Whiplash is filled with gripping, memorable scenes that I wish I could play over and over for the rest of my life):

2014 was also cool because we had FOUR SNOW DAYS!!!! Remembering this is very weird, because knowing I was still in high school for most of last year is very weird. Life is very weird! I’m very weird! And that’s why I’ll probably never find love.

Speaking of never finding love, 2014 was THE YEAR OF THE JUICE CLEANSE. For three days last January, I put my life and well-being on the line in the name of liquid kale, and it was both magical and deathly. I did it two times again later in the year, and here is my pro-tip: DON’T DO IT.

Amazing TV shows I binge-watched in 2014Veep, Game of Thrones, Mad Men, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, True Detective, Girls, Moone Boy, 30 Rock, Scrubs. Socially, I think this was the year I peaked!

Some things in pop culture that made me LOL/cry this year:

– Zac Efron breaking his jaw after “slipping on water from the fountain in his house”

– Justin Bieber getting arrested

– Pharrell’s hat

– The McConnaisance

– The Lego Movie

– Almost anything Selena Gomez did

– Bob Costas having pink eye while doing Sochi coverage, Sochi coverage, Sochi in general

– Barkhad Abdi

– The Oscars selfie that no one even offered to photoshop me into


– When Frank Ocean squared up against Chipotle

– Zac Efron getting in a punching brawl with a homeless man on Skid Row in LA

– Being so annoyed during every second of The Fault In Our Stars and then crying like a big idiot for a few hours after it ended

– Everyone finally realizing that How I Met Your Mother is pretty much the shittiest thing on television

– Conscious uncoupling

– Lindsay Lohan’s sex list being real

– Adam Driver running a fight club while in high school

– The new adorable little rolling droid from Star Wars VII

– Ben Affleck getting kicked out of a casino for counting cards

– When James Franco literally stopped giving a damn

– The amount of time it took for Johnny Football to be drafted to the Browns, Johnny Football and everything he chooses to be

– Zac Efron’s character in Neighbors having an entire season of Girls saved to his DVR

– When Solange squared up against Jay Z in the elevator

– Miles Teller doing the same juice cleanse as me (S/O TO SUJA!)

– That moment when I found out Eddie Redmayne was playing Stephen Hawking and I was so confused but then I saw The Theory of Everything and cried a million tears

– Rob Kardashian not attending Kim’s wedding 😦 BUT THE KIMYE WEDDING IN GENERAL!!!

– 2/5 of One Direction smokin weed and filming it

– Harry Styles becoming a kabalist because of course that makes sense

– Miley Cyrus going absolutely insane over the death of her dog Floyd

– Chris Martin ending his vegetarianism post-breakup from GOOP

– Jonah Hill officiating Adam Levine’s wedding

– Chris Pratt french braiding hair


– Justin Bieber nominating Obama for the Ice Bucket Challenge

– Hello Kitty being a girl and not a cat

– Brangelina wedding

– Every single fucking thing Ariana Grande did

– Pete Davidson

– Marnie the Dog’s rise to fame

– Nicki Minaj’s new album


– Kate Middleton getting pregnant again

– Taylor Swift’s birthday party

– And everything that occurred with The Interview, INCLUDING The Interview itself.

One of my favorite things in 2014 were my friends. Never before have I been included in a group of people who are so unabashedly supportive and loving, and I’m constantly worried that my self-hatred/pessimism/angst is too much for them (LOL). Every time I screw up (all the time!) they are the first people to send a heart emoji or get ice cream with me. Because of what they do for me, I’m able to start being better to myself, and that’s also a change in my life. I am so unironically #blessed to be loved in this way, and I hope in 2015, I can be a better friend to them.


Maybe this is weird to talk about because weight is “weird” but I lost 25 pounds in 2014 between July and December (but I didn’t actually start actively trying to lose weight until October)! Honestly, it’s been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, because I legitimately think I am addicted to food, but I’m sure it’ll be “rewarding” in the long run. I also feel more beautiful so I guess that’s good! But don’t worry, my self-confidence is still very very low, almost nonexistent.

Taylor Swift has obviously run my life since I was 11-years-old, but I think she hit me hardest in 2014. 1989 is one of the most bombass albums of our generation, and it has changed me into the woman I am today. The song I feel most strongly about is (duh) “Blank Space,” because I am very emotional when it comes to boys and their Snapchat best friends. Also, for the first time, I feel like I can relate to Taylor Swift songs, which is literally insane because how could I ever relate to a Taylor Swift song, I am not a small white cat or someone who is worthy of being loved.

2014 was also the year I went to three One Direction concerts, and it was a delight. I hope I am at a level of being in which no one can make fun of me for how much I love One Direction anymore, since I am so confident and forthcoming in my passion for Harry Styles and his long flowing hair. Why is his hair nicer than me? How much does his shampoo cost? Is it Yves Saint Laurent like everything else he owns?

Overall, 2014 was a pretty great year, and though filled with ups and downs, I will treasure it in my heart forever. 2015 has already been the hardest year of my life (AND WE’RE ONLY A MONTH IN, SO IT CAN ONLY GO UP FROM HERE, RIGHT? NO I’M NOT SWEATING) so being able to look back on fun memories fills my heart with joy, like I’ve just eaten a Portillo’s chopped salad. Thanks to everyone who supported me in 2014, whether it was with school work, reading my blog or my articles, responding to my Snapchats or complimenting me on my tweets; your support means the absolute world to me always. A lot of people often say to me, “I wish I had your life!!!” but trust me, my feet are always cold and I once awkwardly yelled, “MILES TELLER, CAN I HAVE A HIGH-FIVE????”

Happy 2015!




I’m excited to announce that I think I’ve officially become a “thankful” person.

I associate gratitude with weakness the same way that people associate peanut butter with jelly, so this is actually huge progress on my journey to becoming an Actual Feeling Human Being. Emotions are real! The world is turning!

Of course, I am still a cold robot, but sometimes life gets good, like a well-written episode of Mad Men, and you just gotta ride the wave until you get paranoid that something bad is going to happen at any second and kill your vibe. While you’re riding the wave, might as well say, “Hey, this is a good thing. I feel happy about this. Thanks, Universe, for this moment in time where everything is nice.”

Anyways, how can you not at least be a little bit thankful for your life when there are things that exist out there like pugs and Harry Styles and deep-dish pizza and Sex and The City re-runs that play while you run on the treadmill? Is there really anything more you can ask for? Aside from a frozen yogurt machine that dispenses directly into your mouth with no repercussions, of course.

I don’t even know how to elegantly articulate how much I love “Blank Space” and how much I need it in my life at all times. This is also my formal plea for Taylor Swift to bring her music back to Spotify. I thought, because I don’t use Spotify, I wouldn’t be affected by this drama, but when you can’t bump “Blank Space” at a party because it’s unavailable to be streamed, it ruins literally everything. I feel so strongly about this. Please bring Taylor Swift back to Spotify.

Here it is, everybody: the most perfectly executed bitch face of all time. I want to achieve this someday. I hope in the future, my face just naturally falls into this exact look.

“Both. Just say I’ve got an allergy to cheap Champagne. Tell them exactly that. I have acid reflux, and unless it’s really good bubbles, I’m not going to take that!” He shakes his head and laughs. “But please don’t sell that too well. Make sure they know it’s a joke. They’ll really think I’m an asshole.” 

About a month ago, I made a spontaneous decision to travel from NYC to CHI via Megabus and surprise my family and friends for Thanksgiving. It was SO fun, but some of the most LOL-worthy moments occurred, surprisingly, while en route. It’s basically the travel nightmare that you would assume, but if you’re looking forward to something at the end of it, it isn’t as bad. An old Russian woman next to me got in a screaming match with the bus drivers, someone threw up within the first two hours, there was a dog on the bus, and at one rest stop, they were selling L. Ron Hubbard DVDs. Apparently, Scientology is huge in Ohio. The entire bus ride took nineteen hours, and when I finally got to my front door, no one in my family was even home, but at least I got frozen yogurt later that night and got to enjoy the well of joyful emotions that exist only in Costco stores the next day.

Per Emerson family tradition, we hit the mean streets of suburban Illinois at 3 AM on Black Friday to help the economy/get some bangin department store deals. We also were Danby Station’s first customers of the day at 6 AM, because we will do anything for food from the best restaurant in Glen Ellyn, IL. I was awake for a full 23 hours, 12 of which were spent shopping. I’m a survivor.


Since there’s nowhere to cook on campus/I only eat rabbit food, I spend at least 90% of my time blankly staring at delicious food on Pinterest, bookmarking it and then literally never cooking it ever. But I want to drown myself in this sweet corn, zucchini, and fresh mozzarella pizza. 

It’s a stalemate to see who will cut their hair first and neither of us are caving.

“Eve then says that we should make this T-Swift-inspired class ‘a thing,’ but alas she will be in the Hamptons next week. I will be in suburbia for the holiday weekend eating Chinese takeout and wearing flannel pajama pants, but that is neither here nor there.”

My parents came to visit the second weekend of November and it was truly a delight. We got a round of Salty Pimps at the best ice cream place in the world, Big Gay Ice Cream Shop, and also met Bradley Cooper outside of his broadway show after seeing him perform. This is truly what it means to “live the dream.”

Selena Gomez’s monologue at the beginning of this song is also how I feel about Justin Bieber. I KNOW HIM.

Maybe if you live under a rock (aka don’t follow me on Twitter) you wouldn’t know that 1D has a new album out. BUT THEY DO AND IT’S PERFECT FROM START TO FINISH. Me and my journalistic companion Kiley Roache will be having a listening session in the coming days, but you should pre-game our analysis with a little “Girl Almighty”.

“I know a lot of people are probably so thrown by how serious we’re taking this boy band, but loving them is no different than obsessing over any other act we value for some arbitrary ideal of authenticity. There’s nothing more fun than loving something, and boy bands are one of the the only sets of artists that require you to love the whole package: from music to personalities to all the baggage they can muster.”


I think Harry Styles is calling me out via tattoo


Darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream.

~ Fall Feelings ~

The idea of fall is so good. Like, SO GOOD, guys! But right now I’m wearing a flannel shirt and sweating and also thinking about pizza so, really, is it even fall at all?

I’m weirdly beginning to feel feelings that I’ve never felt before (maybe I’m just emoting for the first time ever?) and I’m wondering if I’m finally reaching some sort of “adult” status. For example, I was home in Illinois this weekend, and it was great, but there was definitely something weird going on. I felt like I was in someone else’s house, trying to live someone else’s life. I’m pretty sure this is what Wife Swap feels like. The first night I was home, my friends came over and we all talked about our brand new lives, and after they left, I felt like crying. WE’RE JUST ALL LIVING BRAND NEW LIVES, OKAY? IT’S SO CONFUSING.

I’m definitely falling into the situation where “home” is a completely new concept. Is New York City my home, or is Glen Ellyn? I don’t know how to do this, but I’m glad that I get to figure it all out in the best place on Earth. Walking through the city is the most sacred thing to me. Especially when it’s raining and I’m listening to Taylor Swift and thinking about all my life’s mistakes.

Anyways, maybe once it stops being sweaty in the subway, I’ll be able to experience the autumnal vibes. Until then:

Literally me.

My favorite New York experience so far is 100% the New York Film Festival. The atmosphere is like nothing you’ve ever experienced, industry greats are literally EVERYWHERE, and you get the opportunity to see some amazing films. It really is the reason Lincoln Center is my favorite place in the city. I was lucky enough to snag a last-minute ticket to the world premiere of Gone Girl (absolutely life-changing) and a ticket (with a surprise Q+A!!!) to Whiplash, both during opening weekend. Whiplash is my favorite movie I’ve seen this year, and definitely landed itself a spot in my top 10 of all-time. There are no words. It’s that good. Other good moments from NYFF: Accidentally walking past the red carpet for Gone Girl and seeing Ben Affleck, Rosamund Pike, and Neil Patrick Harris ~in the flesh~, getting a high-five from Miles Teller and yelling in his face, Miles Teller sitting five rows in front of us during Whiplash, and MEETING ETHAN HAWKE!! We were walking behind him, close enough to touch, for ~3 minutes before my friend Maya just had to shake his hand. Cool move by her because he then shook both of our hands, asked us our names, listened to us rave about Boyhood and then told us to have a great night. He is truly a cool dude. He was wearing a baseball hat with a corduroy blazer.

“It is in this release — not in the trite, robotic messages — that Facebook pages of the dead seem like a gift that people like me didn’t have: somewhere to feel less ashamed about not being able to move the fuck on. A preponderance of evidence that the person you loved was once alive and meant something to other people, not just you.”

Another amazing NYC experience was meeting Lena Dunham. While the actual meeting situation was less than ideal (as signing-type M+Gs always are), it was so inspiring to here her speak her words directly in front of me. She’s one of my greatest creative role models, so the opportunity was really unique and wonderful.

“For me, the whole movie is about what it means to be a dad.”

When you’re rich+drunk enough to have people put your hat on for you #justgirlythings

Life is long, people change, I would never be foolish enough to think otherwise. But no matter what, nothing can ever be as it was. Everything has changed in a way that sounds trite and borderline offensive when recounted over coffee. I can never be who I was. I can simply watch her with sympathy, understanding, and some measure of awe. There she goes, backpack on, headed for the subway or the airport. She did her best with her eyeliner. She learned a new word she wants to try out on you. She is ambling along. She is looking for it. – Lena Dunham