I’m excited to announce that I think I’ve officially become a “thankful” person.

I associate gratitude with weakness the same way that people associate peanut butter with jelly, so this is actually huge progress on my journey to becoming an Actual Feeling Human Being. Emotions are real! The world is turning!

Of course, I am still a cold robot, but sometimes life gets good, like a well-written episode of Mad Men, and you just gotta ride the wave until you get paranoid that something bad is going to happen at any second and kill your vibe. While you’re riding the wave, might as well say, “Hey, this is a good thing. I feel happy about this. Thanks, Universe, for this moment in time where everything is nice.”

Anyways, how can you not at least be a little bit thankful for your life when there are things that exist out there like pugs and Harry Styles and deep-dish pizza and Sex and The City re-runs that play while you run on the treadmill? Is there really anything more you can ask for? Aside from a frozen yogurt machine that dispenses directly into your mouth with no repercussions, of course.

I don’t even know how to elegantly articulate how much I love “Blank Space” and how much I need it in my life at all times. This is also my formal plea for Taylor Swift to bring her music back to Spotify. I thought, because I don’t use Spotify, I wouldn’t be affected by this drama, but when you can’t bump “Blank Space” at a party because it’s unavailable to be streamed, it ruins literally everything. I feel so strongly about this. Please bring Taylor Swift back to Spotify.

Here it is, everybody: the most perfectly executed bitch face of all time. I want to achieve this someday. I hope in the future, my face just naturally falls into this exact look.

“Both. Just say I’ve got an allergy to cheap Champagne. Tell them exactly that. I have acid reflux, and unless it’s really good bubbles, I’m not going to take that!” He shakes his head and laughs. “But please don’t sell that too well. Make sure they know it’s a joke. They’ll really think I’m an asshole.” 

About a month ago, I made a spontaneous decision to travel from NYC to CHI via Megabus and surprise my family and friends for Thanksgiving. It was SO fun, but some of the most LOL-worthy moments occurred, surprisingly, while en route. It’s basically the travel nightmare that you would assume, but if you’re looking forward to something at the end of it, it isn’t as bad. An old Russian woman next to me got in a screaming match with the bus drivers, someone threw up within the first two hours, there was a dog on the bus, and at one rest stop, they were selling L. Ron Hubbard DVDs. Apparently, Scientology is huge in Ohio. The entire bus ride took nineteen hours, and when I finally got to my front door, no one in my family was even home, but at least I got frozen yogurt later that night and got to enjoy the well of joyful emotions that exist only in Costco stores the next day.

Per Emerson family tradition, we hit the mean streets of suburban Illinois at 3 AM on Black Friday to help the economy/get some bangin department store deals. We also were Danby Station’s first customers of the day at 6 AM, because we will do anything for food from the best restaurant in Glen Ellyn, IL. I was awake for a full 23 hours, 12 of which were spent shopping. I’m a survivor.


Since there’s nowhere to cook on campus/I only eat rabbit food, I spend at least 90% of my time blankly staring at delicious food on Pinterest, bookmarking it and then literally never cooking it ever. But I want to drown myself in this sweet corn, zucchini, and fresh mozzarella pizza. 

It’s a stalemate to see who will cut their hair first and neither of us are caving.

“Eve then says that we should make this T-Swift-inspired class ‘a thing,’ but alas she will be in the Hamptons next week. I will be in suburbia for the holiday weekend eating Chinese takeout and wearing flannel pajama pants, but that is neither here nor there.”

My parents came to visit the second weekend of November and it was truly a delight. We got a round of Salty Pimps at the best ice cream place in the world, Big Gay Ice Cream Shop, and also met Bradley Cooper outside of his broadway show after seeing him perform. This is truly what it means to “live the dream.”

Selena Gomez’s monologue at the beginning of this song is also how I feel about Justin Bieber. I KNOW HIM.

Maybe if you live under a rock (aka don’t follow me on Twitter) you wouldn’t know that 1D has a new album out. BUT THEY DO AND IT’S PERFECT FROM START TO FINISH. Me and my journalistic companion Kiley Roache will be having a listening session in the coming days, but you should pre-game our analysis with a little “Girl Almighty”.

“I know a lot of people are probably so thrown by how serious we’re taking this boy band, but loving them is no different than obsessing over any other act we value for some arbitrary ideal of authenticity. There’s nothing more fun than loving something, and boy bands are one of the the only sets of artists that require you to love the whole package: from music to personalities to all the baggage they can muster.”


I think Harry Styles is calling me out via tattoo


Darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream.


Party Like It’s 1989

Last month, the unearthly being that is Taylor Swift gifted us plebs with a new album: 1989. 

A new Taylor Swift record is something that is celebrated for two years, until the next one comes and we have something else to listen to while we cry. The two-year waiting period gives us time to analyze every song to its very core, until we feel we have literally lived Taylor Swift’s life in real time.

Thankfully, one amazing journalist (Kiley Roache) and one idiot (me) got cracking on this analysis early, as we had a coast-to-coast listening party over text message. While Kiley listened at Stanford, I jammed at NYU, and the result was a deeply comprehensive, extremely intelligent discussion.

Kiley Roache: Ready?
Bizzy Emerson: Yes start Welcome to New York at exactly 9:13
KR: 6:13 okay
BE: Bahah my b
KR: It’s okay
BE: 1) She wrote a song about NY but still nothing about California………….
KR: Bae what do you think all her songs that reference Hollywood are talking about
BE: “References”
I like Welcome to New York mainly for caption purposes
KR: Truuu
Katy Perry songs describe my life probably too accurately rn
BE: See we’re both having our moment
With different artists
Which is funny because one of the songs on this album is about Katy and Taylor’s feud
KR: Boys and boys and girls and girls no Taylor no

BE: Blank Space fuckin rules
KR: Hahahahahha I mean Taylor is forever better she just needs to write more about Stanford than your school
“I can make the bad guys good for a weekend” LITERALLY ME
Notice how everything is about Harry
KR: *8 Sobbing emojis*
BE: This song really speaks to me
Because of my long list of ex-lovers
But more because boys think I’m insane

BE: Oh my God here we go, Style
KR: Please know I’m listening to this in the quiet room of the library with headphones on but am going cray
BE: James Dean daydream look in your eye )))));
I am in the silence of my room going cray!
BE: We are all Taylor
KR: She literally inspires everything I do and think
BE: She is my frenemy because I don’t necessarily jive with her personality and some of her attitudes on life, and also she is very rude to fans, but in the long run she is a creative visionary and a life long inspiration

BE: Out Of The Woods!!! The REALLY Harry song
KR: She’s like not my best friend but that senior when your a freshman that takes you under their wing but you’re still always a little scared of even though they’re so cool
BE: I don’t know if I could even say that much. I don’t think she would like me if we met. I think we would passive aggressively fight and be fake nice to each other, but maybe deep down have a level of respect for each other.
But she has to be a good person since she’s friends with all of my dream celebrity friends and dates all of my dream celebrity boyfriends.

BE: All You Had To Do Was Stay…another Harry song…this relationship is so real???
KR: About as real as my relationship with Harry
I think to a degree it was real but also very heavy PR.
KR: I agree I couldn’t resist the joke though
BE: Bahah I appreciated it
I don’t love this song

BE: Shake It Off is just so important

BE: Bad Blood = about Katy Perry!
Also about everyone I hate lol
Including myself
KR: Hahah don’t hate you!! You are fab

BE: This song is so real to me (Wildest Dreams)

BE: This song is “How You Get The Girl” and I feel like all she really had to say was “Pizza and Harry Styles” but that would’ve revealed too much of her personal life

– We then took about an hour long break so Kiley could eat dinner –

KR: Aight lets go
BE: Alright start at 29
I love this song
KR: Crying
BE: *~This Love came back to me~*
KR: Fuck I’m on the wrong song start over!
Which one were you on???
KR: I skipped over it. Going back now
BE: It’s ok I love this song I fell asleep to it on repeat last night and when I plugged my phone into my computer it said I had listened to it 350 times #blessed
BE: I like how listening to the songs in chronological order tells a story!
KR: YES!! Like it’s an album not a collection of singles
BE: I’ve been getting into listening to albums as a whole lately instead of shuffling
BE: You better believe I’m going to chronologically listen the shit out of Four
KR: They may not be sophisticated enough for that strategy
BE: Yeah I’m not sure if they think about that

BE: Speaking of, another Harry song (I Know Places)
KR: Soo good ugh

BE: Clean is everything to me
I almost cry when I listen to it while walking to class
KR: That drought reference gets me at my core
BE: Like I am finally CLEAN I am rid of the toxicity in my life *preach*
KR: Do you think she has a serious relationship with all these guys or does she have a one night stand and then be like “wow I thought we were forever” in her songs
BE: No I think there’s something
Because as much as it pains me, I think she is probably a truly delightful girlfriend who does a lot of baking
KR: Gag this is why I’m not a good girlfriend type
BE: I always think I could be a good girlfriend but then I remember every single one of my flaws and I go “Not today”
KR: Hahahaha it’s not about you it’s about the impossible task that actively being a girlfriend is

KR: Wonderlands metaphorical sophistication impresses me
She talks about green eyes ))):
KR: Ughhhhh I wanna see those eyes in person
BE: I feel the same way

BE: You Are In Love makes me want to die
Taylor wrote it for Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff!
Wouldn’t it be fun to be in a fight club with with Taylor Swift, One Direction, etc.?

KR: “We’re all so tired of everything” SAME (New Romantics)
BE: Just so true
BE: This is a very good one

I’m so excited to document it for my blog
BE: ))):
KR: When we hang out irl let’s listen to the whole thing + tequila shots every time there’s a Harry reference
BE: We’d be dead in an hour
KR: Dead so fast
BE: Guinness World Record for alcohol poisoning speed
Just Girly Things tho
KR: #yesallwomen

~ Fall Feelings ~

The idea of fall is so good. Like, SO GOOD, guys! But right now I’m wearing a flannel shirt and sweating and also thinking about pizza so, really, is it even fall at all?

I’m weirdly beginning to feel feelings that I’ve never felt before (maybe I’m just emoting for the first time ever?) and I’m wondering if I’m finally reaching some sort of “adult” status. For example, I was home in Illinois this weekend, and it was great, but there was definitely something weird going on. I felt like I was in someone else’s house, trying to live someone else’s life. I’m pretty sure this is what Wife Swap feels like. The first night I was home, my friends came over and we all talked about our brand new lives, and after they left, I felt like crying. WE’RE JUST ALL LIVING BRAND NEW LIVES, OKAY? IT’S SO CONFUSING.

I’m definitely falling into the situation where “home” is a completely new concept. Is New York City my home, or is Glen Ellyn? I don’t know how to do this, but I’m glad that I get to figure it all out in the best place on Earth. Walking through the city is the most sacred thing to me. Especially when it’s raining and I’m listening to Taylor Swift and thinking about all my life’s mistakes.

Anyways, maybe once it stops being sweaty in the subway, I’ll be able to experience the autumnal vibes. Until then:

Literally me.

My favorite New York experience so far is 100% the New York Film Festival. The atmosphere is like nothing you’ve ever experienced, industry greats are literally EVERYWHERE, and you get the opportunity to see some amazing films. It really is the reason Lincoln Center is my favorite place in the city. I was lucky enough to snag a last-minute ticket to the world premiere of Gone Girl (absolutely life-changing) and a ticket (with a surprise Q+A!!!) to Whiplash, both during opening weekend. Whiplash is my favorite movie I’ve seen this year, and definitely landed itself a spot in my top 10 of all-time. There are no words. It’s that good. Other good moments from NYFF: Accidentally walking past the red carpet for Gone Girl and seeing Ben Affleck, Rosamund Pike, and Neil Patrick Harris ~in the flesh~, getting a high-five from Miles Teller and yelling in his face, Miles Teller sitting five rows in front of us during Whiplash, and MEETING ETHAN HAWKE!! We were walking behind him, close enough to touch, for ~3 minutes before my friend Maya just had to shake his hand. Cool move by her because he then shook both of our hands, asked us our names, listened to us rave about Boyhood and then told us to have a great night. He is truly a cool dude. He was wearing a baseball hat with a corduroy blazer.

“It is in this release — not in the trite, robotic messages — that Facebook pages of the dead seem like a gift that people like me didn’t have: somewhere to feel less ashamed about not being able to move the fuck on. A preponderance of evidence that the person you loved was once alive and meant something to other people, not just you.”

Another amazing NYC experience was meeting Lena Dunham. While the actual meeting situation was less than ideal (as signing-type M+Gs always are), it was so inspiring to here her speak her words directly in front of me. She’s one of my greatest creative role models, so the opportunity was really unique and wonderful.

“For me, the whole movie is about what it means to be a dad.”

When you’re rich+drunk enough to have people put your hat on for you #justgirlythings

Life is long, people change, I would never be foolish enough to think otherwise. But no matter what, nothing can ever be as it was. Everything has changed in a way that sounds trite and borderline offensive when recounted over coffee. I can never be who I was. I can simply watch her with sympathy, understanding, and some measure of awe. There she goes, backpack on, headed for the subway or the airport. She did her best with her eyeliner. She learned a new word she wants to try out on you. She is ambling along. She is looking for it. – Lena Dunham


I ♥ New York

I’ve officially been living in Manhattan for almost 4 weeks and it’s been THE BEST THING IN MY LIFE. I basically get to do everything I’ve always wanted to do when I lived in the suburbs, which includes: walk to Soho, eat amazing food, visit my ladies at the Huffington Post, spend so much money, see celebrities, go to fun tapings, movies and concerts, and live as a strong, independent, sassy bitch. Also, I have to do a lot of school work, but don’t kill my vibe.

To be perfectly cliche, I’M LIVING OUT MY DAMN DREAMS. Hopefully soon Harry Styles will start cooking and cleaning and singing me to sleep in my dorm. Basically, anything can happen in NYC.

Here are some of my favorite things this month:

Say what you will about Kim and Kanye, but they are a POWER COUPLE and their combined style is amazing. F the haters.

“The list of things that keep me up at night includes but is not limited to: appendicitis, typhoid, leprosy, unclean meat, foods I haven’t seen emerge from their packaging, foods my mother hasn’t tasted first so that if we die we die together, homeless people, headaches, rape, kidnapping, milk, the subway, sleep.”

Buzzfeed had an accomplished bartender mix celebrity-inspired drinks. The Taylor Swift is on point.

Feeling oh so #blessed that I get to see the critically-acclaimed Whiplash at the New York Film Festival at the end of this month.

Here’s my take on the selfie: a selfie is the best kind of photo there is, primarily because you can manipulate the camera anyway you want to give you a picture that you’re happy with. People that talk shit about selfies probably just don’t know how to take a good one. Take as many selfies as your heart desires and never apologize!

Brangelina wedding is everything.

I started a new blog recapping every episode of Saved By The Bell. I only have one post as of right now (school is crazy busy) but hopefully this weekend I can get it fully up and running: http://www.bloggedbythebell.com

Last night we went into midtown, ate pizza, saw Ed Sheeran sing “Don’t” live at Radio City Music Hall (my first time ever being there!) and then basically had a night of exploring. New York City is kinda pretty I guess.

I know I blog about him a lot, but Dane Dehaan is on a different damn level as Lucien Carr in Kill Your Darlings.

Matty Healy from The 1975 is one of the most earnest and giving performers. Also he’s drunk as shit and he sounds *amaze* on one of my fave tracks, “Talk”. I swoon.

Last week I met Michael Cera after seeing his Broadway debut, This is Our Youth. It was nice. I’m in love with him.


Tonight I was lucky enough to get tickets to a taping of the Late Show with David Letterman! They made it very clear to us that it’s a big deal to go at this point since it’s Dave’s last season, and not even they know when his last show will be. It was so funny, he’s an incredibly awesome guy, and I got to see my love Mindy Kaling in the flesh. Overall 10/10, would recommend.

“Don’t let people cast you as a side character in your relationships, in your jobs, in your life.”

Get this shit away from me.

My personal mantra

Chris Pratt is my everything, and Guardians of the Galaxy was the film of the damn summer. Don’t ever fight me on this.

Everything has changed and yet I am more me than I’ve ever been. – Iain Thomas


October should be better than this

Fall is a great time. I’ve consistently considered it one of my favorite seasons, and always look forward to going football games and drinking Pumpkin Spice Lattes and eating caramel apples and doing various other autumnal activities.

But this year just…sucks. There is nothing! Football games make me seriously consider drinking Tide and letting death come slowly. Coffee makes me sick, so the PSL is out. Caramel apples are just too messy and annoying. And before anyone starts preaching to me that I could go to haunted houses or do other “Halloween-oriented” things, save your breath — I’m scared of EVERYTHING and I’m nearly 18, so trick-or-treating is a big NO.

It could be all the looming college stress that is turning me into a real, walking, human-size version of Grumpy Cat, or it could be the crippling Senioritis that is plaguing me (at a completely inappropriate time, considering I still have no idea where I’m going to school). I think I’m very “done” with the whole idea of high school and the unfortunate social hierarchy that unavoidably screws everyone up emotionally. It could be due to the fact that a new One Direction CD is coming out, and I’m anxious about whatever they’re doing (aside note: it sucks enough to be worried about your own life constantly, and to add the pressure of worrying about 5 other individuals who in no way reciprocate this concern is TIRING).

Life is freaking me out. It’s weird to be old and have to make these decisions, especially since I thought I would just go to the same college Tia and Tamera went to on Sister, Sister (UMichigan, for the idiots who didn’t watch Sister, Sister). Realizing you have to find a school with a “perfect fit” that matches your GPA and ACT score and resume is painful. But all of my applications are in, and I’m still eating too much Chipotle, and I’m still spending my Saturday nights alone, watching DATELINE: What Would You Do? on YouTube, so I guess I’m coping.

I’ve really tried to turn to positive things in my life that make me happy, because I’m pissed off way too much. These things include, but are not limited to:


8tracks is a homework essential — this playlist is especially great.







EXCLUSIVE: Taylor Swift leaves a photoshoot in New York City




This gets me amped up and ready to face a day tear-free (or at least a minimum of 10 minutes of tears)


Other notable things to check out include:

“AM” by the Arctic Monkeys, “Pure Heroine” by Lorde, and the self-titled 1975 album.

The Mindy Project — extremely underrated, hilarious and smart show.

– The 2013 remake of Carrie — Not a huge scare, but Ansel Elgort is charming and New York and perfect. He’s worth the $183982489 it costs to see a movie.

Zac Posen‘s spring 2014 collection — there are too many good looks to attach here. Same goes for Elie Saab.

– I’m so late on this one, but upworthy.com has made my Facebook feed so much better. Like them for neat, philanthropic (and sometimes philosophic) stuff.

– Making a Christmas List — it’s NEVER too early to start putting together things you want.

– Snapchat stories — it’s this new stalking device that is equal parts informative and infuriating. I DON’T WANT TO LOOK AT YOUR PICTURE FOR 20 SECONDS, BUT OKAY.

I’m trying to get better at this whole “blogging” concept, so hopefully this was a more entertaining and stimulating post than the normal ranting I usually do. My life has taken a lot of weird and unexpected turns this year, but it’s comforting to know that I still get heart palpitations from Zayn Malik’s tattoos.

If you’re a kind-hearted kid and would like to comment, that would be great. If you’re angsty and would like to read and sulk in silence, then that’s cool too.