Me IRL

2015 is almost halfway over already and my life has gone through some MAJOR changes! Because I’m self-obsessed and need to talk about myself every second in order to survive, and (mainly) because I live in a small, gossipy town, I thought I’d finally open up about what’s been going on with me now that the semester has come to a close. Though I’m not sure if I’m totally comfortable sharing this side of my personal life in such a public way, I think it’s important to clarify some things.

After crying a million tears, stressing, listening to a ton of rap music, and working out like a crazy person so I don’t fall into a pit of my own despair, I’m finally ready to let ya’ll know: I’m transferring to the University of Missouri in the fall!

Journalism is (and always will be) my one true bae, and I know that I’ll be able to better pursue and express this passion at Mizzou. I can’t wait for all of the new academic opportunities I’ll be able to explore in a field I really love, and to be surrounded by others who are just as excited about journalism as I am.

“Uhhh but bitch, isn’t journalism a big deal at NYU, and aren’t there plenty of opportunities in New York?” Yes and yes! Unfortunately, I wasn’t accepted as a journalism major at NYU (major bummer) and instead was accepted into an alternative program where I would be a liberal studies major. I didn’t really internalize this rejection and instead celebrated getting into my “dream school,” kind of convincing myself that being in New York City and being at NYU was enough. OBVIOUSLY this was a big mistake, and I realized pretty early on that being held back from classes and subjects that really interest me (and being stuck in such a restrictive program) was extremely overwhelming and just felt wrong.

Of course NOTHING CAN EVER WORK OUT WELL FOR ME and after deciding to transfer, I found out that most of the credits I earned at NYU would only count as elective credits at Mizzou. Because I want to graduate college in four years (and because NYU tuition is no fucking joke $$$), I made the incredibly difficult decision to withdraw from NYU and fill requirements at a community college near home this semester. Over the past few months, I’ve been working, taking classes online, going to hot yoga every day and watching a shit ton of Mad Men. It’s been super lonely and extremely boring, but it’s okay.

It took a lot of guts to let go of my NYC dreams, and I still love the city SO MUCH and miss it every day. I feel confident that I’ll spend time living, working, brunching and being my cheap-ass Carrie Bradshaw-self in New York City later in life, and that’ll be the right time for be to be doing that. It really does come down to bad timing and bad luck, but I accept that and know things will be different at some point.

Even though I have struggled so much with this decision, and I have been incredibly hard to deal with these past few months, I’ve never felt more loved and supported! I have to thank my parents, for hauling my ass out of New York and believing in me (but I’m still pissed ya’ll fucked up my Game of Thrones on the DVR), my very best pals who let me crash in their dorm rooms and let me be a college freshman with them on their campuses, and for my “extended family” for feeding me ice cream and taking me on Florida vacations.

So, that’s me! Despite all of this, I’m ready to move on with my life and go back to “being in college,” and stop having people around town say stuff to me like, “Oh, I heard your home………you look so good, though!” YOU BET YOUR ASS I LOOK GOOD.

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