Last month, the unearthly being that is Taylor Swift gifted us plebs with a new album: 1989.
A new Taylor Swift record is something that is celebrated for two years, until the next one comes and we have something else to listen to while we cry. The two-year waiting period gives us time to analyze every song to its very core, until we feel we have literally lived Taylor Swift’s life in real time.
Thankfully, one amazing journalist (Kiley Roache) and one idiot (me) got cracking on this analysis early, as we had a coast-to-coast listening party over text message. While Kiley listened at Stanford, I jammed at NYU, and the result was a deeply comprehensive, extremely intelligent discussion.
Kiley Roache: Ready?
Bizzy Emerson: Yes start Welcome to New York at exactly 9:13
KR: 6:13 okay
BE: Bahah my b
KR: It’s okay
BE: 1) She wrote a song about NY but still nothing about California………….
KR: Bae what do you think all her songs that reference Hollywood are talking about
I like Welcome to New York mainly for caption purposes
Katy Perry songs describe my life probably too accurately rn
BE: See we’re both having our moment
With different artists
Which is funny because one of the songs on this album is about Katy and Taylor’s feud
KR: Boys and boys and girls and girls no Taylor no
BE: Blank Space fuckin rules
KR: Hahahahahha I mean Taylor is forever better she just needs to write more about Stanford than your school
“I can make the bad guys good for a weekend” LITERALLY ME
Notice how everything is about Harry
KR: *8 Sobbing emojis*
BE: This song really speaks to me
Because of my long list of ex-lovers
But more because boys think I’m insane
BE: Oh my God here we go, Style
KR: Please know I’m listening to this in the quiet room of the library with headphones on but am going cray
BE: James Dean daydream look in your eye )))));
I am in the silence of my room going cray!
KR: TAYLOR IS ME I AM TAYLOR I LOVE LIFE
BE: We are all Taylor
KR: She literally inspires everything I do and think
BE: She is my frenemy because I don’t necessarily jive with her personality and some of her attitudes on life, and also she is very rude to fans, but in the long run she is a creative visionary and a life long inspiration
BE: Out Of The Woods!!! The REALLY Harry song
KR: She’s like not my best friend but that senior when your a freshman that takes you under their wing but you’re still always a little scared of even though they’re so cool
BE: I don’t know if I could even say that much. I don’t think she would like me if we met. I think we would passive aggressively fight and be fake nice to each other, but maybe deep down have a level of respect for each other.
But she has to be a good person since she’s friends with all of my dream celebrity friends and dates all of my dream celebrity boyfriends.
BE: All You Had To Do Was Stay…another Harry song…this relationship is so real???
KR: About as real as my relationship with Harry
I think to a degree it was real but also very heavy PR.
KR: I agree I couldn’t resist the joke though
BE: Bahah I appreciated it
I don’t love this song
KR: SHAKE IT OFF
BE: Shake It Off is just so important
BE: Bad Blood = about Katy Perry!
Also about everyone I hate lol
KR: Hahah don’t hate you!! You are fab
BE: This song is so real to me (Wildest Dreams)
BE: This song is “How You Get The Girl” and I feel like all she really had to say was “Pizza and Harry Styles” but that would’ve revealed too much of her personal life
– We then took about an hour long break so Kiley could eat dinner –
KR: Aight lets go
BE: Alright start at 29
I love this song
BE: *~This Love came back to me~*
KR: Fuck I’m on the wrong song start over!
BE: UGH KILEY!!
Which one were you on???
KR: I skipped over it. Going back now
BE: It’s ok I love this song I fell asleep to it on repeat last night and when I plugged my phone into my computer it said I had listened to it 350 times #blessed
KR: HAHAHAHHAHAH I LOVE YOU
BE: I like how listening to the songs in chronological order tells a story!
I LOVE YOU TOO!!!
KR: YES!! Like it’s an album not a collection of singles
BE: I’ve been getting into listening to albums as a whole lately instead of shuffling
BE: You better believe I’m going to chronologically listen the shit out of Four
KR: They may not be sophisticated enough for that strategy
BE: Yeah I’m not sure if they think about that
BE: Speaking of, another Harry song (I Know Places)
KR: Soo good ugh
BE: Clean is everything to me
I almost cry when I listen to it while walking to class
KR: That drought reference gets me at my core
BE: Like I am finally CLEAN I am rid of the toxicity in my life *preach*
KR: Do you think she has a serious relationship with all these guys or does she have a one night stand and then be like “wow I thought we were forever” in her songs
BE: No I think there’s something
Because as much as it pains me, I think she is probably a truly delightful girlfriend who does a lot of baking
KR: Gag this is why I’m not a good girlfriend type
BE: I always think I could be a good girlfriend but then I remember every single one of my flaws and I go “Not today”
KR: Hahahaha it’s not about you it’s about the impossible task that actively being a girlfriend is
KR: Wonderlands metaphorical sophistication impresses me
BE: ITS ABOUT HARRY AGAIN
She talks about green eyes ))):
KR: Ughhhhh I wanna see those eyes in person
BE: I feel the same way
BE: You Are In Love makes me want to die
Taylor wrote it for Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff!
Wouldn’t it be fun to be in a fight club with with Taylor Swift, One Direction, etc.?
KR: “We’re all so tired of everything” SAME (New Romantics)
BE: Just so true
KR: THIS SONG IS MY LIFE
BE: This is a very good one
BE: OMG WHAT A GREAT LISTENING SESSION
I’m so excited to document it for my blog
KR: WAS THAT THE LAST SONG NO
KR: When we hang out irl let’s listen to the whole thing + tequila shots every time there’s a Harry reference
BE: We’d be dead in an hour
KR: Dead so fast
BE: Guinness World Record for alcohol poisoning speed
Just Girly Things tho