Viva la Golden Globes

The Golden Globes are confusing, and here’s why:

I’ve always been made to believe that winning a Golden Globe is a really big deal, but after Johnny Depp was nominated for his role in The Tourist (a really shitty movie), my entire belief system in the Golden Globes crumbled. That’s not to mention the whole musical/comedy vs. drama category debacle (would the creation of a dramedy category help the cause?).

This isn’t to say that I don’t love the Golden Globes. They’re an easy-going award show — they never feel too long, they always have a nice touch of humor, the red carpet is phenomenal and the awards always seem to go to the right person (see: Best Actor: Motion Picture – Drama, 2005).

There’s a lot to look forward to for the 2014 Golden Globes, so here I’ll break down my predictions for the winners/losers of the night for the most pressing awards:

BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
12 Years A Slave
Captain Phillips
Gravity
Philomena
Rush

Predicted winner:

I feel like no one is really over the whole Gravity craze, so either that or 12 Years A Slave would be the film to beat.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine
Sandra Bullock, Gravity
Judi Dench, Philomena
Emma Thompson, Saving Mr. Banks
Kate Winslet, Labor Day

Predicted winner: 

Again, the awards buzz surrounding Sandra Bullock and Gravity since its release is too much to ignore. I thought Sandra did an excellent job, given the demands of the role, and wouldn’t be disappointed if she won.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years a Slave
Idris Elba, Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Tom Hanks, Captain Phillips
Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club
Robert Redford, All Is Lost

Predicted winner:

 

I wouldn’t be surprised to see Chiwetel Ejiofor take this category. While it would be cool to see Matthew McConaughey win for his transformative performance in Dallas Buyers Club12 Years A Slave is another incredibly buzzy film that’ll probably dominate.

BEST MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
American Hustle
Her
Inside Lleywn Davis
Nebraska
The Wolf Of Wall Street

Predicted winner: 

While I would prefer seeing Wolf win by far, American Hustle has more commercial appeal and has been getting praise left and right. Having seen 4 out of 5 nominees, I would probably put American Hustle at the back of the pack in terms of personal preference, but it isn’t up to me.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Amy Adams, American Hustle
Julie Delpy, Before Midnight
Greta Gerwig, Frances Ha
Julia Dreyfus, Enough Said
Meryl Streep, August: Osage County

Predicted winner:

I like Meryl Streep, but I’m SO SICK OF HER WINNING! I would love to see this go to Amy Adams.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Christian Bale, American Hustle
Bruce Dern, Nebraska
Leonardo DiCaprio, The Wolf of Wall Street
Oscar Isaac, Inside Llewyn Davis
Joaquin Phoenix, Her

Predicted winner:

Leonardo DiCaprio SHOULD WIN, but Christian Bale will, based somewhat, again, on commercial appeal. In my opinion, DiCaprio gave a much more compelling performance, but Bale’s physical transformation, along with his understated performance, definitely garnered him more attention and praise.

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
The Croods
Despicable Me 2
Frozen

Predicted winner: 

I’ve yet to hear from someone who didn’t enjoy Frozen. Although I myself haven’t seen it, I really believe it’ll win this category.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
Sally Hawkins, Blue Jasmine
Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle
Lupita N’yongo, 12 Years a Slave
Julia Roberts, August: Osage County
June Squibb, Nebraska

Predicted winner: 

To be honest, I was a little disappointed with Lawrence’s performance in American Hustle — not because she wasn’t great, she was, but because her scenes were few and far between, and even then, it didn’t feel so totally, award-winning special. She’ll win because we all like her — not necessarily a bad thing, but it is what it is. I would’ve really liked to see Margot Robbie or Carey Mulligan nominated in this category — I thought both of them did a better job than Lawrence (who I still LOVE WITH MY WHOLE HEART, DO NOT BE MISTAKEN)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips
Daniel Bruhl, Rush
Bradley Cooper, American Hustle
Michael Fassbender, 12 Years a Slave
Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club

Predicted winner:

Having no real knowledge of the other contenders, I can only say that I hope Bradley Cooper wins. He was good in American Hustle, and I want to see him on stage. He’s also popular with the public, so that could help his cause.

BEST DIRECTOR – MOTION PICTURE
Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity
Paul Greengrass, Captain Phillips
Steve McQueen, 12 Years a Slave
Alexander Payne, Nebraska
David O. Russell, American Hustle

Predicted winner:

Gravity was undeniably insane. It would be a loss if Alfonso Cuaron didn’t go home with an accolade or two. On a side note, does anyone else feel that Martin Scorsese was robbed?!

BEST SCREENPLAY – MOTION PICTURE
Her
Nebraska
Philomena
12 Years A Slave
American Hustle

Predicted winner:

Based off of what I’ve read, I have a feeling that Nebraska will win at least one of its nominations — perhaps this category?

BEST ORIGINAL SONG – MOTION PICTURE
Atlas, Hunger Games: Catching Fire
Let It Go, Frozen
Ordinary Love, Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Please Mr Kennedy, Inside Llewyn Davis
Sweeter Than Fiction, One Chance

Predicted winner:

God, I hope this wins. I loved this.

BEST TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
Breaking Bad
Downton Abbey
The Good Wife
House Of Cards
Masters Of Sex

Predicted winner:

Fresh-off their Emmy win, I think Breaking Bad is a top contender.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA

Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan
Michael Sheen, Masters of Sex
Kevin Spacey, House of Cards
James Spader, The Blacklist

Predicted winner:

Similarly, the end of Walter White would hopefully put Bryan Cranston in a good place to snag a GG.

BEST TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
The Big Bang Theory
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Girls
Modern Family
Parks & Recreation

Predicted winner:

No one wants to see this floundering sitcom win, but it’ll undoubtedly happen. If there is an awards-centric god, he’ll give it to Girls.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Zooey Deschanel, New Girl
Lena Dunham, Girls
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
Amy Poehler, Parks & Recreation

Predicted winner:

I wouldn’t mind seeing Julia Louis-Drefyus win, despite the fact that I don’t watch Veep. I just don’t want Zooey Deschanel to win.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Jason Bateman, Arrested Development
Don Cheadle, House of Lies
Michael J. Fox, The Michael J. Fox Show
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Andy Samberg, Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Predicted winner:

Again, if there’s an awards-centric god, he won’t make us sit through another Jim Parsons acceptance speech.

BEST MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
American Horror Story: Coven
Behind The Candelabra
Dancing on the Edge
Top of the Lake
White Queen

Predicted winner:

For Matt Damon-intensive purposes only.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

Josh Charles, The Good Wife
Rob Lowe, Behind the Candelabra
Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad
Corey Stoll, House of Cards
Jon Voight, Ray Donovan

Predicted winner:

GIVE IT TO PINKMAN, BITCH!

Everyone enjoy the Golden Globes, and if I get at least 5 of these right, anyone who reads this owes me at least one McDonalds ice cream cone. If you have any predictions of your own, or want to contest one of mine, let me know on Twitter!

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